So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
