Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
