I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize