I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
