I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
