i think my tv is drunk
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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