And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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