You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think I just shit out all my problems.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
