Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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