and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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