Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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