I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
