But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
