Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
