The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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