after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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