the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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