At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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