Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she was so not down for the gang bang
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
