I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
