what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
