watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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