Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
