Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
