i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
