I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
