I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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