My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
