I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's blow job season.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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