That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
