He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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