you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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