Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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