apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
