Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
