That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
