Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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