ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
