There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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