So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
