My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
