David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
