he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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