Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
