How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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