I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
