she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
