Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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