Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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