You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
