The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
