I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
