I wanna passion pit in your ass
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
