tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
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I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
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Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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