I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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