God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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