K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
