hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
