I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
