I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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